I'm done with 3 exams in a row. Next exam is on 6th and then I have a long gap before my last exam which is on 15th. In between the long gap, I've made few plans to go hang out with different set of friends. Yes, I have a lot of friends from different scenes.
Frankly, even though I felt as though a weight had been lifted (3 papers in a row, kidding me?!), I was sad right after the exam, I completely forgot almost all the formulas needed for the exam. But I take full responsibility for my action and decision. I could have prepared for the exams way earlier but I didn't. So the blame is on me. Anyhow, the damage is done. I can just pray for the best result to come and hoping my lecturer to be very lenient in marking our papers. :)
Whatever it is, life still goes on and I'm still trying to embrace what has been laid out for me day by day and yes, I'm learning a new thing every single day.
My list of things that had happened/that I observed/that I did in the past few weeks:
- I've had my worst presentation in my 4 years of studies. I was too busy finishing FYP report that I didn't prepare for the PE presentation at all. I seemed to take Dr. M for granted (He's too kind). Somehow I felt I was being rude. My utmost apologies to my dear lecturer.
-I've witnessed an intense quarrel between two persons, it gave chill to my bone. This is written with no intention to offense anybody. I've realized that there's a fine line between being rude and being furious. There's a fine line between what is right and what is wrong too. Sometimes we might have crossed between these two. Reason being is undefined. It could be ignorant. But I still think we should take off our hat and show some respects towards elders in any situation. Remember, elders are always right in the end since they have more experiences dealing with problems, living in this life.
-I'm somehow inspired by a number of people in making a big change in my life. Even so, I have to put it on hold for a little while before I could carry in the major change.
-I'm grateful for all the blessings Allah had given me. I have such a supporting parents. They are able to tolerate me at times I lose my determination. They are always there giving me advices, motivating and praying for me.
-I'm thankful that I have such wonderful set of friends and classmates. I can always be myself whenever I'm with them. With them, I can change my stressful moments to the fun crazy moments in a ridiculous way.
-I pray to Allah to keep me from going astray. This life has too many spices here and there, I'm afraid I'm going to fall to the negative side of life, sometimes the bad/forbidden thing is the most tempting. I recite Quran everyday to avoid these things.
“And We send down from the Quran that which is a healing and a mercy to those who believe.” Al-Isra’ 17:82
“And when His (Allah’s) Verses (this Quran) are recited unto them, they (Verses) increase their Faith; and they put their trust in their Lord.”
-In a higher degree of stress, I tend to eat a lot in the past few weeks. I'm gaining my weight though I'm not certain whether it's a good thing or not. I fret about being bigger than I am now. I have no intention of gaining weight only height, alas I just can't.
-I'm saddened by some people's views and perceptions on certain things. Sometimes they are too fond of getting fame out of something irrelevant. And this world is beginning to get a grip of violence, cruelty and whatnot. It's heart-wrenching. ;(
-I dare say I don't like those who keep bragging about what they have, what they do and etc. If you think you're so big in this world, think again! There are thousands of people bigger than you and yes, the same apply to those who think they're small in this world. Remember, there are people smaller than you, poorer than you, less fortunate and bla bla, too numerous to mention. So use your huge brain to think and think again! ;)
-I began to love kids more and more each day. They will always have a special place inside my heart. The conversation between me and random kid is as depicted below:
Random kid: Auntie, Auntie..
Me: Auntie? Is it me? (Monologue) (He seemed to call every passer-by as auntie)
RK: Help me to get something from the drain (Pointing towards the huge drain)
Me: What is it? (Go slowly to check what's inside the drain)
RK: Help me to get the cat, he's going to get wet soon. (He called cat as 'nyeowww')
Me: Go down the drain and help to lift the cat and pass the cat to him.
RK: Thank you auntie (A happy jump involved).
Me: Smiling to myself. :)
Actually I was a bit hesitant to help him due to the fact that I'm actually scared with cats. But yeah with kids, some things may have occurred naturally. I'm amazed I managed to hold the cat perfectly without any bit of fear shown in my eyes or even in my gestures.
-I'm waiting for something uncertain.
-I have a very low caffeine tolerance. Indeed! As I needed to stay awake in the wee hours(cramming for exam), I've decided to drink Nescafe. Well before I bought it, I've asked few friends if I should buy it or not and the answer is NO. I went to kiosk with the thought of buying Milk with coffee flavour, unfortunately all were sold out and to test my patience, Nescafe's rack was right beside the milk's rack. I told myself, no harm to try for it once more. Besides, I needed the caffeine fixes to keep me stay awake and my brain to stay alert, so there being stubborn as I always am, I bought the Nescafe. At first, I doubted myself but then I took few sips and nothing happened. I was like, oh fine. All this while there was nothing actually. But then few hours later, only God knows the pain. I've started to feel aches all over my body complete with a headache. I've felt fatigue and I had to take some pills to kill the pain. How pathetic? It's like I'm having the reverse effect of caffeine-intake. My symptoms are somewhat similar to those who have caffeine-withdrawal symptoms.
Here's what I've read:
Everybody "knows" that caffeine makes you more alert and clearheaded. Think again. A cup of coffee gives you a wake up jolt because it triggers a stress response. Your adrenal glands are prompted to kick out the same stress hormones that are released when you perceive an external threat or danger. Your muscles tense, your blood sugar elevates for extra energy, your pulse and respiration rates speed up, and your state of alertness increases so you're ready to wrestle with or run from environmental dangers. You may be only sitting at your table or desk drinking a cup of coffee, but your body doesn't know that. It's preparing for action.
The Memory Solution by Dr Julian Whitaker, page 261
In the same case of the caffeine-withdrawal, after the caffeine effect wears off, people tend to go for another cup but in my case, I didn't. I guess this explains why I felt fatigue. Again, I'm pathetic. Ugh. (*_*)
Anyhow, I shall not drink it anytime soon. :)
-I've missed few football matches. I'm tempted to watch the match but final exam is still on top level of priority. But I still keep the updates. :p
-Keep listening to the old music preferably 90's music. Gosh, I love 90's music with Cranberries, Oasis, Alanis Morissette, Ella and many more in the list. Even the old malay 'rock kapak' is in the list. The music seems to be more honest and not cheesy like what we had these days.
In any case, life has been great. I'm trying to combine all the colours I had for my life and yes I'm still waiting to add some new colours in my life sketches.
P/s: It strikes me to engulf in a feeling called jealousy. Well jealousy has its own way of eating my heart out. :(